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Jun. 14th, 2011 09:52 pm
rockinhamburger: (Gorgeous Gaga)
[personal profile] rockinhamburger
i haven't talked about this before. i have very strong feelings about this, and i don't even really know the whole story, but sometimes i find myself shaking with anger over the situation and i just--i finally have to let it all out.

a while ago, a good fandom friend of mine, 8ways, decided to bow out of fandom. she deleted her journal and froze her tumblr, and has since disappeared off the face of the map.

there were people in the Glee fandom bullying her to no end over a story she wrote for the Kurt/Blaine holiday exchange (almost six months ago now). these people bothered her relentlessly over it, making her fic into a running joke. i know it upset her. i won't pretend to know if this was her reason for leaving; there may have been real-life demands that required her to step away from fandom, but i have my suspicions that at least part of that decision was related to the treatment she received from certain parts of fandom.

and it pisses me the fuck off.

8ways was my friend. she supported me when i was completely new to the Glee fandom, always commenting so sweetly on my stories. she herself wrote wonderful stories. as a matter of fact, she was actually writing a remix based off of one of my stories; a bit of glee and bliss i carried with me during low-points in my life and writing process. she was going to write a story that i will in all likelihood never get to read, and i know she had so many other stories to share with the fandom, stories that we are going to miss out on. that fact? it destroys me whenever i think about it.

i hate that some enormous, anonymous asshats within fandom--for a show that is filled with joy and fucking glee!--might have driven a friend of mine out of it through the very behaviour that is so obviously present and abhorrent in the very show we claim to love. i hate that i might not ever get to speak to her again. the very fact that i cannot credit her properly in this post, because her journal has been deleted, absolutely pisses me off.

even if her reasons for bowing out are completely separate to this issue, it still pisses me off. that behaviour was ridiculous, and she should never have had to endure it. but i suspect that this ordeal was an enormous factor in her decision, since she basically deleted herself from Kurt/Blaine history. if you search the Kurt/Blaine community for her username now, you can't find her stories. i can't read her stories ever again.

i hate it.

8ways, my darling, if you ever read this: please, please come back. you are wonderful. your stories were wonderful.

i miss you all the fucking time.

Date: 2011-06-15 02:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ggjunkie33.livejournal.com
I never heard what happened - I somehow tend to manage to avoid those parts of the fandoms I'm in, plus I'm a newbie in the Glee fandom - though I do remember seeing that 8ways was leaving fandom. I hate that people feel the need to be hateful and do horrible things like make fun of/insult/etc to others, and I hate that it seems to be present in just about every fandom. I didn't know 8ways but I'm sorry that we've lost what seems to be such a sweet, awesome person from your description of her.

8ways, if you're seeing this, I know we didn't know each other but if you ever come back my door is always open.

Date: 2011-06-15 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rockinhamburger.livejournal.com
She really was an awesome person. All I have of her days in the fandom are the lj notifications in my inbox (thankfully, I don't delete those!). I have certifiable proof that she was an awesome person, and it upsets me so much that she was driven away.

And yeah, it's definitely something that happens in just about every fandom, but for Glee? A show that celebrates joy and love? So ridiculous.

I just wish I could email 8ways, you know? But I don't even have that! I have no way of contacting her, and it's just so heartbreaking to me. I miss her so much.

Incidentally, I did not know you'd joined the Glee fandom!! Are you venturing into Kurt/Blaine territory? Very good people hang out there, you should definitely be one of them if you're interested!

Date: 2011-06-15 04:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] needsmoregreen.livejournal.com
Oh my god, I didn't know this had happened.

Some real douchebaggery goes on in this fandom, it's so stupid- a show that's meant to bring joy into people's lives pretty much just causes everyone to fight and abuse each other over ships and shit like that. Everyone's always so ANGRY, grrrrdsklgjasdl;gk!

I hope she comes back, it'd be such a shame to lose someone as awesome as her because of a few idiots.

Date: 2011-06-28 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rockinhamburger.livejournal.com
Yeah, it's so disappointing. But it's heartening to know that ARE good people in fandom; you just have to find the right ones :)

I hope she comes back, too. I miss her so much!

Date: 2011-06-15 06:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pushplaytobegin.livejournal.com
I wish I had saved her goodbye entry. It said she was going somewhere where she wouldn't have Internet access regularly and that she had career-related privacy concerns. Of course, stated reasons and real reasons can be different. I loved her stories. There is one remaining — her KissKiss fic — and it is stellar. I didn't know her at all, but I loved seeing her username attached to a post.

On of the reasons I post in the comm instead of to my journal is because it's moderated, and I figure abuse is less likely. I'm sorry to hear that someone wasted their energy tearing down her talent rather than creating their own stories. I'm sorry you miss your friend. I'm sorry she felt bad. It is very unsettling when people disappear like that.

Date: 2011-06-28 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rockinhamburger.livejournal.com
I didn't get to read her goodbye entry. I only found out she'd left a couple weeks after, and by then it was too late to do much of anything. But I do remember how upset she was about the grief people (anonymously) gave her over the fic she'd written. In fact, it was her amazing KissKiss fic that some assholes seized on to, so it's hard for me to read that one now. But it is SUCH a good fic; all of them were. One of my favourite fics in the fandom was one of hers, and I won't ever get to read it again.

Thanks for commenting about this, bb. It's a matter really close to my heart, and I continue to hope that she'll return. It's very unsettling that I might not ever be able to talk to her again. I appreciate you taking the time to commiserate with me.

Date: 2011-06-15 07:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moirariordan.livejournal.com
sigh. :( I don't know who she is, but people being jerks just makes me sad in general. Like, honestly, even if someone does write crappy fic, do we really have to ridicule them for it? Fandom is a happy place, and if it makes them and others happy, why not?

Date: 2011-06-16 03:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrsdrjackson.livejournal.com
I really wish that people in fandom would be less angry. There is so much hate and so much bitchy behavior; it makes me sad. Especially in a Glee fandom, where we are supposed to be learning that bullying is bad.
I'm sorry that you lost a friend. :(

Date: 2011-06-28 01:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rockinhamburger.livejournal.com
Seriously. It's so upsetting how rampant the rudeness and unkind attitudes are in this fandom.

I'm sorry, too, and thanks for the commiseration ♥

Date: 2011-06-16 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] perumen.livejournal.com
:( I remember reading her stories. They were awesome. I also remember one particular time when the girls of skintightsocks commented on one of her stories and she literally went ballistic with happiness.

This is why fandom should be taken in doses. Unfortunately.

Date: 2011-06-28 01:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rockinhamburger.livejournal.com
They were SO awesome!

I also remember one particular time when the girls of skintightsocks commented on one of her stories and she literally went ballistic with happiness.

I remember that! It was so great :D

I miss her :(

Date: 2011-06-28 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gameboycolor.livejournal.com
She was fantastic, I remember following her on Tumblr.

Thank you for sharing this story, I know it must have been hard to. It's a good example of why we need to think before we speak. :(

Date: 2011-06-28 01:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rockinhamburger.livejournal.com
Oh, she really was! She was always so kind to me, and I was so angry when I found out people were making fun of her and her writing. And then I found out she'd deleted her livejournal and tumblr (shortly after the fact; too late, I wish so much that I could have gotten her email), and I was so sad and upset, but I didn't really know what to say about it.

In any case, I'm glad other people remember and liked her, and I definitely think it's always good to consider that the usernames we're leaving comments about are connected to real people with real feelings. So, even though we can't actually see them, they still deserve our respect and kindness. And I'm sure I've been unkind in the past, but I've learned a lot from this situation.

I just miss her. She was so awesome.

Hey, thank you for reading this. I really appreciate it!

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