rockinhamburger: (Gorgeous Gaga)
We hear a lot about them. We're intimately familiar with them. We know the double standards that men and women are held to. We know the double standards that exist for straight people and for anyone who strays from the sexual 'norm'. Double standards are ever-present and difficult to ignore.

There has been a lot of talk about last week's episode of Glee, and I just want to give my vested two cents on the subject while my mind's in the right space to do so.

Cut for spoilers for Glee's '3x05'... )
rockinhamburger: (Cheeks' squee!)
I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR GLEE ON TUESDAY!

WHAT ARE WORDS. WHAT IS AIR.

No, seriously, I am definitely gonna lose my shit over this episode! Against my better judgment, I just watched a little sneak peak scene (no details, no spoilers) for it and

A;LKJGALKFJGFLKGJJFGIOTJRNH;OINGBKLNDGZVKMCNMVCNBIOTENO;IAHNB

DEAR GOD SO FUCKING EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only problem is I can't go anywhere NEAR tumblr 'til after the episode's aired. Like, I really can't, there are WAY too many spoilers on there!

GET HERE NOW, TUESDAY.

Hi!

Oct. 16th, 2011 12:24 pm
rockinhamburger: (KLAINE)
So I have a midterm tomorrow for which I should be studying, and an activity I need to plan out for the girls at the group home, but all I really want to do is continue working on the first story I've gotten real inspiration for since the summer.

Preview? )
rockinhamburger: (Oh Kurt!)
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was planning to animate an activity with a girl at the group home I'm interning at this semester. Tomorrow's the big day. So, here are a couple examples of my math-related Glee questions:

Rachel has three interviews scheduled with Jacob Ben Israel tomorrow. Jacob wants each one to be six minutes. How long will she be stuck with him?

If Sue pushes eight students three times a week, how many lawsuits is she at risk for?

I'll let you know how it goes! Wish me luck :)
rockinhamburger: (DARREN/BLAINE)
Cut for spoilers... )
rockinhamburger: (Oh Kurt!)
Bang!

Title: Palpation
Author: [livejournal.com profile] rockinhamburger
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: Roughly 10,500.
Warnings: AU from mid-S1 and on.
Summary: Kurt Hummel was not meant for community college. Blaine Anderson was the undeniable silver lining.
Author's Note: My offering for the [livejournal.com profile] klainebigbang. The date has arrived, so it's time to unleash this little monster!

I'd like to thank and give credit to my truly amazing beta-reader, [livejournal.com profile] caroline_shea. Thank you for the editing work, darling, and for convincing me that this wasn't terrible!

I would also like to bring your attention to the artist I was paired with for this very awesome challenge, [livejournal.com profile] xxxmirai. The work you created for this story is so lovely; please check it out and leave her feedback.

And if you're about to read this, thank you as well!

[livejournal.com profile] xxxmirai's Master Art Post

This way! )

Hi y'all!

Aug. 21st, 2011 11:16 pm
rockinhamburger: (Angelina)
I never freaking post anymore! I'm sorry! ♥ So here's a short update on my life at the moment, fandom-wise and RL-wise.

Fandom:

I am participating in the KlaineBigBang, for which my submission has been sent out. My artist is ~incredible, and I cannot WAIT for you guys to see her beautiful work. I'm in awe, honestly. I don't yet know when posting for that will begin, but I will update my journal to let you know when that's happened (for those of you who are interested in reading it, of course). I'm super stoked, not only to share the story I've been sitting on for quite some time, but also to read all the other offerings that I know will be bloody brilliant.

Aside from that whopper, I'm working on a series of short fics about the various members of New Directions' attempts to get relationship advice from Kurt and Blaine. There are two stories so far, posted under my AO3 (ArchiveOfOurOwn) account, of the same username as this journal. They're pretty silly, but maybe you like silly?

I'm also currently mulling over another fic that will (I hope) archive Kurt and Blaine's preparations for New York, which doesn't necessarily produce the desired results. This story idea was inspired by a conversation I had with [livejournal.com profile] perumen and [livejournal.com profile] cxco after we watched Glee Live 3D (or whatever it's actually called).

Speaking of which, I enjoyed the movie. I bounced around in my seat and sang along to every song, so it was definitely entertaining. [livejournal.com profile] cxco and I applauded after every number and then for each of the cast members' names in the credits. I was sad there was no Single Ladies dance or Kurt/Blaine skit, but what're you gonna do, you know? You can't have everything.

Also, I am SUPER FUCKING EXCITED for S3. I'm going to attempt to keep myself as unspoiled as possible, but I make no promises. I'm pretty terrible at restraining myself.

Real life:

I start school tomorrow at 8:30 in the morning. Yes that's early, and yes I'm a little disappointed that my summer's over. But I'm anxious and excited about going back, especially since I have my first training internship--here we call it 'stage', NOT pronounced like the thing theatrical performances take place on. I'll be working at a group home with youth who struggle with severe anxiety and depression, which should adequately explain the excitement and anxiety I have about starting back at school!

I also have four other classes to juggle along with my stage placement, but they all sound like informative, fascinating classes (Aggression & Isolation, Neurological Deficits), so I'm looking forward to it. Not looking forward so much to the vast amount of work I will have to do over the next fifteen weeks, but hey, what're you gonna do, right? Has to be done!

I'll also be working one day a week at ths sandwich shop I applied to earlier in the summer. I really like the job, and I could use the extra cash, but I'll have to see how long I can maintain those hours with my school demands.

-

All of that? Means I probably won't be around as much within fandom as I have been in the past year. I could afford to devote a few hours a night to reading and writing fics, discussing Glee and Klaine, and just generally enjoying the hell out of myself in the k_b community last year, but I do not yet know how feasible that's going to be this year. I'll be around for the KlaineBigBang for sure, and hopefully the first month won't be too bad, but I'm letting you know now ahead of time (for those of you who want to know) so that if I disappear off the face of the internet for a few weeks (e.g. during midterms and finals, etc.), you'll know why. My heart will still be here, of course, but my brain might not be.

No matter what happens, though, I will absolutely make time to watch Glee every week, and I may find the time to post my thoughts about the episode afterward. We'll see!

Also, if you want to contact me for any reason, give me a shout via PM here or over at Tumblr, and I'll certainly get back to you ASAP!

Hmm. This ended up not so short...

:D

What's going on with all of you??
rockinhamburger: (Blaaaaaine)
I am so lucky.

I really have some amazing friends in the Glee fandom, and by god if I don't feel part of a giant family. Which is interesting, because sometimes families fight (that was some epic fighting last night over the leak of the c-sides from the Struck By Lightning script), but most of the time we're true friends to each other; we build each other up, create inside jokes and laugh ourselves hoarse. We welcome new family members and support them, too. We meet up in 'real life'. We enjoy each other's company, and we do all of this because of one specific shared interest. For us, it's Glee, but it could be anything. I've participated in the Harry Potter, Psych, Star Trek XI, and American Idol fandoms. And those are just the ones I participated in; I've lurked in about a dozen more, wishing I could jump in and join the fun but feeling out of my depths.

But please don't think I'm exaggerating at all when I say that this fandom, while also the wankiest apart from HP, has been the most amazing fandom experience of my ten years online. I'm not just saying that, I am truly excited every day to log on and see what my online family is up to. I'm excited to read your fics, bookmark and drool over your artwork, watch your fanvids, look at your icons and graphics, and to squeal excitedly over every piece of Glee news with you that we can get our hands on. I love that we snark about the show's epic fails and then write satirical, thoughtful comments and essays, and I love that we can just collectively love these adorable boys who love each other and are not real but inspire us all the same.

And I just woke up, so I apologize if none of this makes sense. I'm also really shakily emotional as well, because I've been getting comments to the Synchronization companion fic I posted at k_b yesterday. And these are not just any comments, but truly heartwarming ones that make me feel like a capable writer. You'll know, if you're a writer yourself, how important validation can be. I think we like to pretend that we don't post our fics and then nervously check our inboxes when we have a chance, sitting in front of our computers with our breath held tight as the 'Reply to your entry...' email loads, and then squealing over every one. I think we like to pretend we don't require validation, but the truth is we do. Or maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm the only one who feels self-conscious about my writing and proceeds to feel held up when people actually enjoy it.

It's funny. I was fifteen when I first started posting my fanfiction in the Harry Potter fandom. My fics were hosted at FF.Net, and I wrote Harry/Draco fanfiction for the most part and some gen pieces that were a little odd. But I had a small, generous group of people who read my fics and commented regularly, and to this day there are still people who favourite my stories. Which is beyond me, as they're pretty terrible. I still have access to those fics (but you don't, ha!), so I occasionally go back and peruse them to laugh hysterically at my horrible writing. I'm being an asshole to myself when I say that, though, because I genuinely felt then like I do now about it. I smiled over every comment I got, I boggled when someone said that my story was one of their favourites. I was shocked, but mostly it made me want to write more.

When I was in the Psych fandom (for the very funny television show; check it out), I wrote an eighteen-thousand word mystery-slash-love-story. I worked on it for about four-five months (nowadays it only takes a few weeks to write that much :D), agonizing all the while over small details and trying to craft this story I cared about immensely. And when I was nearing the end of the writing process, I told a real-life friend of mine about it, and I'll never forget what she said to me. She said, "Is this a big fandom you're writing for?" I told her no, that it was pretty small in terms of, like, Harry Potter or bandom. And then she said, "Well, how many people are going to read this story you're writing? How many people are actually going to read this story you've put so much time into?" I told her that it didn't really matter because I just had to get the story out of me. I told her I didn't care who read it because the point was that this story had grabbed me and made me write it. I told myself that I didn't need validation because that's not what writing is about.

But then I finished editing it and posted it online. And then I checked my inbox for comments, and in the end I got about... ten, I think? And this was a small fandom, but not that small.

And I won't lie, it was a really shitty feeling. My friend's words came back to me. "How many people are going to read this story you're writing?" In other words, "How many people even give a shit?" And I realized that I do need and want validation, and that's not a failing. Hell, writing is about sharing it with other people. It's about getting inside a person's head and making them think. It's about agonizing over a scene with trembling hands, trying to translate the images in your head to the paper or computer in front of you. It's about getting your reader to stop, just for a second, and question. And that means you're not just writing for yourself. You're writing for other people all the time, and validation is part of that. You want people to feel all that, to think about it, and then like that experience. You're giving your work up for a new interpretation, and that is terrifying. So of course we wait for the reaction with bated breath. This is our soul we're sharing (even with the silliest of pieces). We want our time and effort and work to be validated.

The reason I'm saying all this is that I've been writing... pretty much since I was able. One of the first stories I wrote was a murder mystery about a serial killer. I was 7. How weird and fucked-up is that? Anyway, I've been writing for a long time. And at first I didn't care what people thought of my writing, because I was a kid and I was just writing for myself and for the purposes of getting the (weird, fucked-up) story down. Then school started, and I loved writing so I did it all the time, even when I was supposed to be doing something else.

I can't tell you how and when the insecurity started up. I have no idea when I started doubting my abilities, but all of a sudden everything I wrote was crap. It sounded stupid and young and trite and boring, and why was I doing something I sucked so much at?

Honest to Grilled Cheesus, I cried this morning when I opened my inbox and saw the comments I'd gotten I'm trying not to sob right now, because I've received some seriously amazing comments on my latest story, and I'm just realizing again how much this fandom and all of you who read my fics whenever I post them and speak kindly of the words I string together, how much you all mean to me. Those of you who build me up have not only helped me improve my writing, but have in small increments made me feel less incapable. But more than that, you've helped me to see that I'm not writing crap, that my words are something people actually want to read; or even that my stories are anticipated. And that is just so valuable. I do need validation, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. But I'm starting to feel like I deserve those nice comments. I'm starting to feel like I deserve you as my friends, and that is just something I am so fucking grateful for.

So, thank you. Truly. I never know who reads this journal, but if you're one of the people I'm talking about, who encourage and support me, thank you. My feelings for you are not fake just because we haven't met in 'real life'. You are true friends. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being my friend, for reading my words, and for making me feel like they're important.

I can't tell you how invaluable you are to me.

...

Jun. 14th, 2011 09:52 pm
rockinhamburger: (Gorgeous Gaga)
i haven't talked about this before. i have very strong feelings about this, and i don't even really know the whole story, but sometimes i find myself shaking with anger over the situation and i just--i finally have to let it all out.

a while ago, a good fandom friend of mine, 8ways, decided to bow out of fandom. she deleted her journal and froze her tumblr, and has since disappeared off the face of the map.

there were people in the Glee fandom bullying her to no end over a story she wrote for the Kurt/Blaine holiday exchange (almost six months ago now). these people bothered her relentlessly over it, making her fic into a running joke. i know it upset her. i won't pretend to know if this was her reason for leaving; there may have been real-life demands that required her to step away from fandom, but i have my suspicions that at least part of that decision was related to the treatment she received from certain parts of fandom.

and it pisses me the fuck off.

8ways was my friend. she supported me when i was completely new to the Glee fandom, always commenting so sweetly on my stories. she herself wrote wonderful stories. as a matter of fact, she was actually writing a remix based off of one of my stories; a bit of glee and bliss i carried with me during low-points in my life and writing process. she was going to write a story that i will in all likelihood never get to read, and i know she had so many other stories to share with the fandom, stories that we are going to miss out on. that fact? it destroys me whenever i think about it.

i hate that some enormous, anonymous asshats within fandom--for a show that is filled with joy and fucking glee!--might have driven a friend of mine out of it through the very behaviour that is so obviously present and abhorrent in the very show we claim to love. i hate that i might not ever get to speak to her again. the very fact that i cannot credit her properly in this post, because her journal has been deleted, absolutely pisses me off.

even if her reasons for bowing out are completely separate to this issue, it still pisses me off. that behaviour was ridiculous, and she should never have had to endure it. but i suspect that this ordeal was an enormous factor in her decision, since she basically deleted herself from Kurt/Blaine history. if you search the Kurt/Blaine community for her username now, you can't find her stories. i can't read her stories ever again.

i hate it.

8ways, my darling, if you ever read this: please, please come back. you are wonderful. your stories were wonderful.

i miss you all the fucking time.
rockinhamburger: (DARREN/BLAINE)
Title: Get Your Engines Ready
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, of course
Word Count: 1000-ish
Summary: Blaine just wants to suck his boyfriend's cock, okay?
Notes: PWP all the way. Hopefully that's all right with you!

Kurt, can I--? )
rockinhamburger: (KLAINE)
Hey all! You must, must, MUST read [livejournal.com profile] caroline_shea's A Born Performer, if you haven't already. Seriously, seriously hot fic. NC-17.

Also, if you can handle dark subject matter (bond-servants, non-con, all that FUN STUFF), you should also read [livejournal.com profile] mothergoddamn's You Belong To Me. Scary, unsettling, and really excellent story. WIP, so tread carefully if that makes you wary. NC-17.

[livejournal.com profile] rainjoyswriting's Like Stars where Kurt and Blaine enjoy Seven Minutes in Heaven at Mercedes' Infamous Glitter Party. So, SO good. Rainjoy's quickly become one of my faves in the fandom, and the small review count for each story baffles me. NC-17.

Noticing a trend, right? You'd think porny fics was all I ever read. It's not, by the way. But, uh, pretty close.

And finally, if you aren't reading [livejournal.com profile] fabfemmeboy's Immutability And Other Sins 50s AU 'verse, then you are missing something essential in your life. It's about Kurt and Blaine in a word where homosexuality is still considered a mental illness, and the painful journey they must take (both separately and together) to find happiness in that sinister world. Fab's writing in this fic is literally stunning, and every update leaves me salivating, aching for more. This is also a WIP, and NC-17, and very, very addictive. Just a warning.

Just a few of the fics that have been on my mind lately; just spreading the love. Glorious, STI-free love.

LET ME LOVE YOU DOWN, TALENTED AUTHORS. ALSO, GIVE YOUR WRITING TALENTS, PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

Hi all!

May. 20th, 2011 01:27 am
rockinhamburger: (DARREN/BLAINE)
+I recently wrote and posted a snippet from a Kurt/Blaine pen pal AU plot bunny that I lost inspiration for. Luckily, [livejournal.com profile] happyinchintz72 has picked up my slack and begun writing a better, revamped version called Wild Horses. It's supposed to be a summer project, and so far it's super adorable! You should definitely read it!
rockinhamburger: (Oh Kurt!)
Okay, so, over the course of the last several months I've been focused intently on school. But I can't stop the Glee bunnies from hopping in once in a while, and because I haven't posted much lately, I wanted to share some of the bits and pieces of what I've been working on and thinking about on the sidelines when I wasn't hunched over my desk in an effort to memorize sociological theories and the etiologies of autism, cerebral palsy and Rett Syndrome.

So here you have five unrelated stories that are either works-in-progress, stories that didn't make it to fruition, and an extra scene from a previous story of mine. All except one are Klaine-related, and the odd man out is a Kurt-Burt scene. They range from G to NC-17.

I hope they're somewhat interesting to you, and please let me know what you think of them.

This way for the bunnies! )
rockinhamburger: (Oh Kurt!)
My thoughts on Glee's Prom Queen.

Spoilers, obvs! )
rockinhamburger: (Blaaaaaine)
+ I have successfully stayed away from Glee spoilers for a whole week! I haven’t even watched the promo clip from tomorrow’s episode, and there’s Kurt twirling what looks like celery in the gifs I’ve inevitably run across. So, that’s a pretty bit feat for me! But it’s just that I want this episode (which has already been massively spoiled for me after the Nicole Crowther incident) to be as fresh as possible in reward for a fucking long, difficult, exhausting semester.

+ [livejournal.com profile] caroline_shea, the mastermind behind Gaily We Promenade, read over what I’ve written for my bigbang and said things that made me not hate my writing with a fiery passion. This is good news, as it means I can stop feeling insecure for a while and write productively because someone believes I’m good at this writing thing. I don’t always have confidence in that, and it’s nice to be appreciated.

MY KURT_BLAINE BIGBANG IS SLOWLY MATERIALIZING, AND I DON’T TOTALLY HATE IT NOW. YAAAY!

xoxo, Caroline!!!

+ I’ve had this discussion with a friend of mine about how Darren Criss is literally the perfect man, and how it’s necessary to believe there must be something wrong with him or life just isn’t fair because seriously what are the chances there’s another Darren out there for us to love (and to love us) in real time?

Which is why I’ve convinced myself Darren must have at least one major shortcoming. What that shortcoming is I have yet to discover, BUT IT HAS TO EXIST.

Because anything else is patently unfair.

AMIRITE!?

+ Lady Gaga’s Edge of Glory is fuckin’ stellar. The saxophone solo (and the little saxophone ending) makes my ears orgasm. Hnnnnnng.

I cannot wait for her fucking album to drop, fuck.

:D

Apr. 17th, 2011 12:25 am
rockinhamburger: (Angelina)
After a week that nearly succeeded in bringing about my defeat, I had the privilege of sharing dinner Friday night with [livejournal.com profile] poire_gourmande [livejournal.com profile] elanor12, [livejournal.com profile] cxco, [livejournal.com profile] perumen, [livejournal.com profile] pastlink, [livejournal.com profile] mmystery, [livejournal.com profile] laurymdragon, where our collective squeeing over Glee and Klaine made up for it in every possible way. Can't wait to watch an episode with you fabulous ladies! ♥

In other news, the Canadiens beat the Bruins tonight, 3-1, which brings us just that much closer to the ultimate goal! Go Habs Go!

yikes!

Mar. 29th, 2011 08:18 am
rockinhamburger: (KLAINE)
[livejournal.com profile] kurt_blaine just got subject tags, so I went through my author tag and added them, and while I was doing that I noticed something. I have posted twenty-two entries of fic. That's twenty-one stories and one multi-part series, altogether culminating in a grand total of roughly 64,500 words!

SHIT.

I have a problem, folks. I'm blaming Glee for this! You can't hand me a completely adorable teenage gay couple and expect me not to write about them, damn it!

And with the [livejournal.com profile] klainebigbang coming up (which I completely forgot about until just now, fucking hell), I should be adding another 10-20,000 words to that word count. SOMEONE STOP ME. STAGE A KLAINTERVENTION. GET ME ONE OF THOSE RED-PAINTED SIGNS FROM HIMYM AND STOP ME.

Or don't. That's fine too XD

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