AI8 Fanfic

Title: Diamond Dog Diva
Author: Yours Truly (rockinhamburger
Rating: R
Pairing: Adam/Kris
Disclaimer: This is a really long lie. These are characters based off of public persona, and not accurate representations of real people. No harm or slander is intended. This is just for fun!
Summary: Response to a prompt over at aianonlovefest. Kris Allen is the latest in a string of Personal Assistants Adam Lambert has gone through since winning American Idol. He's demanding; what one might call a diva. But for Kris it's either PA work or street corner prostitution, so he's taking the job. Two hours in, street corner prostitution's looking like the far better option!
Word Count: 10,375 words.
Notes: There's Diva!Adam? What more can I say? :)


( The HR woman looks down at the file on her desk and frowns. 'Kris Allen?' she asks. )

she works hard for the money...

The Pros and Cons of Being a Newspaper Delivery... Girl? Woman? Person? ... I digress.


I deliver newspapers as a part-time job. The hours are pretty good; I work five on Wednesday and five on Thursday.


The Pros:

~ I get lots of exercise.

~ I have money to pay my bills and save up for school.


The Cons:

~ I have to trudge through many unpleasant kinds of weather (Montreal has the extremes, unfortunately; extremely cold or extremely hot, seldom in the middle) to deliver the newspaper door-to-door. In the winter, sometimes it snows so heavily that I can't see more than two feet in front of my nose. In the summer, the temperature sometimes rises to unbearable heights. When it rains, my clothes and sometimes my shoes become soaked.

~ The walkways up to the houses and apartments are often blocked with snow, or the pathways are derelict and dangerous. Don't even get me started on the staircases!

~ I have sore shoulders for 3 to 4 days of the week. Sore feet for 5, sometimes 6.

~ My boss is a fucking ignoramus. He gossips about everyone he sees on the street, and proceeds to tell me their life stories (even though I clearly don't give a shit). He also makes ignorant, dumbass comments on a fairly regular basis. Some of the really great ones:

"Barack Obama is a crook."

"Global Warming is a myth."

"That's a building for mentally challenged people. I don't know if they read, but you can put in their mailbox anyway."

~ And last, but certainly not least, I have to deal with the social stigma that comes with being not only someone who delivers newspapers as part of her living, but a woman who does so. I get a great many looks from the people I see on the street, or from the businesses I deliver the newspaper to. I have been asked outright why I'm not working behind a counter at a store. The 'You're Not Going Anywhere In Life Because You Deliver Newspapers, Young Drop-Out, And Are Therefore Unworthy of A Greeting' is implied in the treatment I receive from some business and house owners.

---

These are all aspects of the job I've gotta do, and, unfortunately, there's not a whole lot I can do about the cons. Despite the fact that the cons far outweigh the pros, the pros come out to more in the end. I like exercise. I like having money. And hell, I hate this job a helluva lot less than I hated working at Subway and Second Cup.

Besides, I reckon I have it pretty easy. At least I'm not digging myself out of earthquake-caused rubble, or living on the street, or working for a dollar an hour. But in case you ever wondered what I do with my time, that's one part of it. I also babysit regularly, and I get paid to keep a church in my area secure before, during, and after events. Yup, I have three jobs. That's how I roll. Working school back into my schedule in the fall will be a challenge! One of these jobs will have to go; can you guess which one it's gonna be?