Beside You - Part 3

[rockinhamburger]

-3-



When Adam arrives at school the following morning, Kris is waiting for him by Adam’s parking space. Adam’s heart starts careening in his ribcage at the sight of Kris, as usual, and Adam pulls into his spot, kills the engine and hops out of the car. “Hey!” he says with a grin.

“Hey,” says Kris, approaching Adam tentatively. “How’d it go?”

In answer, Adam pulls Kris into a tight hug; Kris returns it immediately. They stand there in each other’s embrace for almost a full a minute before Kris pulls away to tilt his head sideways in question and asks teasingly, “Soooo, how did it go?” Adam laughs, and they head into the school together.

At the end of the day they set off for Adam’s house to finish their science project. Kris follows Adam in his own car and parks in front of Adam’s house, and they file happily and noisily inside. They snack on popcorn and soda that they drink straight from the bottle.

After roughly an hour’s hard work, they both collapse back on Adam’s bed in relief.

“Done!” Kris crows triumphantly.

“Woo!” Adam cries in excitement. “We are awesome!” He throws a hand up for a high-five; Kris slaps it enthusiastically with his own. They both roll on to their sides, facing each other, and share a gleeful smile.

Kris stretches languorously and yawns widely. “Oh, man. I am so glad we’re done with that. It was kind of a depressing topic to work on for a whole month.”

Adam nods fervently. “Totally. Just the presentation on Tuesday, and then we’re officially finished!”

Kris’ smile softens slightly, and he bites his lip. This is Kris’ default nervous expression, Adam’s noticed. Just as he’s about to ask Kris what’s up, Kris runs an erratic hand through his (extremely soft-looking) hair.

“So my youth group has these monthly coffee house shows,” Kris starts, worrying a stray thread on Adam’s comforter with the fingers of his other hand. “It’s not a religious thing, though, it’s just an event for the youth that go to my church. But, uh, my youth pastor asked me to play something next week, and I – I mean, I totally understand if you’d be uncomfortable with coming, but…” He trails off uncertainly.

Adam says, unthinkingly and in a bemused sort of voice, “Next week? But we’ll be done with the project, won’t we?” and knows immediately, by the sudden tension in Kris’ shoulders, that this is positively the wrong thing to have said.

Kris sits up and stares at Adam’s door, muttering a quiet, “Wow,” and when he turns to look at Adam, there’s – yeah, that’s anger in the lines of Kris’ face and in the hunch of his shoulders. “Wow,” Kris repeats. “I am such an idiot. Four weeks ago, in this exact spot, you said, ‘we can totally be friends’. And I was… I didn’t believe you at first. I just thought you were being nice, or, I don’t know, that you were just saying it and we’d go back to being strangers once the project was over. But then you actually acted like we were friends. Part of me didn’t want to believe you in case something like this happened, but I ignored that and – and really gave this a chance because – because I stupidly thought we really could be friends.”

Adam sits up, panic-stricken. “Oh Kris, no, I -”

But Kris barrels on, not hearing Adam. “And I – damn,” he laughs humourlessly, “I’m really mad at myself right now. And I’m mad at you! Because you didn’t have to pretend, man, you didn’t have to do anything! We could’ve just worked together, and that would have been fine with me; I would have been okay with that!” Kris bites out, incensed, on his feet and pacing now, eyes landing on Adam every few words. Adam’s so shocked, so taken aback by Kris’ intense reaction, that he can only sit and listen to Kris’ words numbly.

“But you invited me over for supper, and you asked me to play guitar for you.” Kris sucks in a breath. “You told me about your life. And you asked me about mine. And here I was thinking that maybe meant something to you, that you really did consider me a friend, and now you’re – you’re just gonna go back to ignoring me?” Kris demands, voice getting louder.

“No!” Adam gasps.

But Kris is clearly beyond hearing Adam right now. “I just don’t understand why you even bothered!” Kris shouts, and he looks and sounds utterly tortured. Adam’s heart clenches painfully. “I really would have been fine with just being work partners, or whatever, but you acted like we were friends. God, I should have just listened to my gut in the first place, because I was right. And I just - I’m -” Kris runs a frenzied hand through his hair and moves toward the door in jerky movements. “Whatever. I’m gonna go, see you next week,” he snaps, turning away from Adam completely.

“Kris, wait!” Adam scrambles to his feet. “Wait!”

But Kris is already out in the hallway, already pounding down the staircase. Adam chases after him, shouting down the stairs, “Kris! Don’t go!”, but his urgent words are met by a hard slam of his front door, and Adam flinches madly as a harsh sob wrenches itself from his throat.

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, FUCK!

Adam punches the wall beside his bedroom door and pants heavily, trying not to freak out entirely. He’s ruined everything, and with just a few poorly chosen words.

I’m such a fucking moron!

He tries to get his breathing under control. That’s when he notices Neil’s closed bedroom door, and he’s across the hall and throwing the door open in two strides.

Neil’s sitting on his bed with his laptop in front of him and listening to something with his earphones in. He jumps and clutches his chest. “Jesus Christ, Adam!” he yelps, yanking the earphones out. “You fuckin’ –! Fuck! You’re always on my case about knocking, asshole!” And then Neil notices Adam’s dismayed expression, and he stops yelling. “Dude, are you okay?” he asks concernedly.

“No!” Adam shakes his head frantically, shifting his weight and fidgeting on the spot. “I fucked up,” he chokes out. “Kris -- Oh, I fucked up so bad.”

Neil shuts his laptop and sets it aside. “Okay, sit down. Talk.”

Adam stumbles forward and sits down on the right side of Neil’s bed. “Fuck, Neil! I ruined everything!”

“All right, I’m gonna need more words than that,” Neil prods calmly.

Adam scrubs at his face ineffectually and sighs, clenching his hands into fists. “Kris and I were hanging out,” he starts, closing his eyes so he can’t see Neil’s reaction, “and he invited me to this coffee house thing next week to watch him perform, and I – fuck, I was just surprised so I said, ‘That’s after we’re finished with the project’, or something like that, and ohmygod. Neil, Kris flipped out. He thought I was saying that I didn’t want to hang out anymore, now that the project’s over.” Adam opens his eyes to find Neil cringing, face scrunched in sympathy. “But that’s not it at all! I was just… I don’t know, I guess I was surprised he still wants to hang out, and I – I’ve been feeling so confused for weeks now, and it just… took me by surprise. And now – now I fucking ruined everything, and he’s really pissed off, and… shit,” Adam trails off, pressing the heels of his hands into his forehead and groaning in frustration.

Neil says, “K, Adam?” Adam looks up. “Relax. You didn’t ruin anything. You probably could have worded yourself better, but really now: this is not the end of the world. Just go and explain it to him.”

“He was so mad, Neil. I don’t think he wants to see me again.” He sighs. “I didn’t think Kris could get that mad.”

Neil chuckles softly. “He does seem pretty… even-tempered.” Neil squints at Adam for a second, and then he says, “Listen, I’m gonna say something now, and I’d really like for you to not punch me or stomp out of here like a child, okay?”

Adam rolls his eyes. “What?”

“I think there’s a pretty obvious explanation for why Kris got so mad at you. I don’t think it’s just about friendship, Adam, I think Kris likes you. I think maybe you might’ve – well, I think you kinda broke his heart.”

“What?” Adam gasps. “No -”

“Let me fucking finish,” Neil says exasperatedly. “I think you can fix this by being honest, with yourself and with him. Go over to his house and tell him how you feel, man. If that doesn’t make up for your big mouth, nothing will.”

“Oh no, absolutely not,” he says firmly. “I cannot tell him anything about that. He totally does not feel the same way; he might be a jerk about it, or he might turn me down, or -”

“Why would Kris be a jerk about it?” Neil asks, perplexed. “Kris is a nice guy. He might – small might, by the way – not be into you, but he would at least be a good guy about it. And on the bigger chance that he does like you back … well, dude,” he says significantly, raising his eyebrows.

Adam shakes his head fiercely. “No, I can’t. There’s no way he feels that way.”

“Adam,” Neil sighs in a long-suffering manner. “You should see the way he looks at you. It’s the same way you look at him. Dude, I’m fucking fourteen and I’ve noticed it; why’re you being such a blind idiot about this? For fuck’s sake, Adam, you’re eighteen years old,” Neil says harshly. “Be a man.”

Neil’s words feel like a slap in the face – a slap of realization. Neil’s right, goddamnit, and Adam is not doing himself any favours by being a coward about it. Adam groans, terrified, and says, resignedly, “Why are you so smart?”

Neil grins. “God gave me his brain when I was a baby, duh.”

Adam laughs, rubbing his face. “Ugh,” he sighs. “You really think he feels the same way?” he asks in a small voice.

Neil gives Adam an encouraging smile. “I really do. But you won’t know for sure ‘til you tell him.”

Neil is – as usual, unfortunately – absolutely right. Adam heaves another sigh, thanks Neil, and sets off for Kris’ house.

---

Adam rings Kris’ doorbell about twenty minutes later, and waits anxiously for an answer. His heartbeat -- he’s never been so aware of it in his life. His palms are clammy, and he wipes them quickly on his jeans just as the door opens.

Kris stares at Adam through the outer screen door, expression unreadable. Then he pushes the screen door open and steps back to let Adam inside. Adam steps hesitantly over the threshold, closes the door gently behind him and says, soft and shy, “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”

Kris shakes his head sheepishly. “Nah, it’s – I… really overreacted,” he mutters. “Sorry. Let’s go upstairs.”

Adam follows Kris up to his room, and feels like he’s watching a scene from a movie. The moment almost doesn’t feel real, but the truth is that it’s the most vulnerable and scared Adam’s felt in some time, and considering the month he’s just had, Adam thinks that’s really saying something.

Kris closes the door behind Adam and slumps down on his bed with a small sigh. Adam tentatively sits down beside him and says, “Okay, uh, I gotta say this, and it’s not gonna be easy, so please don’t interrupt.” Kris doesn’t move, just stares right at Adam, like he’s really seeing him. Adam gives himself a few moments to collect his thoughts.

“I do consider you a friend, Kris. It’s been… so great getting to know you. Sometimes I wish we’d known each other years ago, because I feel like you’re exactly who I need in my life right now, and maybe things would have been better – easier - if you’d been… if we’d been friends before. I like you a lot, Kris,” he admits quietly. “Too much. I like you a lot more than someone should like their friend. And – and I just, I was afraid, I’m still afraid, and… I don’t know, I was just surprised that you still wanted to hang out even though we’re done working together. And I’ve been... scared of how much I like you, and I just -” Adam breaks off, biting his lip to hold back his impending tears.

Kris grabs Adam’s hand and laces his fingers with Adam’s. “Adam,” he whispers, and in the quiet of the room, it’s as loud and clear as if he’s shouted it. “Me too.” He leans forward slightly, locks his eyes with Adam’s and says, “I like you too.”

Adam’s pretty sure his eyes are as wide as saucers at this point, and suddenly Kris is closing the distance between them; his mouth is a mere centimetre away from Adam’s, and then Adam’s pressing his own – gently, like a whisper – to Kris’, breath held tight in his lungs. Kris tilts his head slightly and raises a trembling hand to Adam’s cheek.

They kiss close-mouthed for what feels like an eternity, Adam’s eyes shut firmly against the onslaught of emotion that’s bubbling through him. And then, like they’re on the same wave-length, like they know each other by heart already, they part their lips together, and their tongues touch, tentatively, and Adam lets out a soft gasp, amazed and shocked and ecstatic, and then they’re kissing frantically, pulling at each other’s shirts to reduce the space between them, breathing into each other’s mouths, noses brushing in their exuberance.

Adam curls his tongue around Kris’, and Kris makes a warm sound, a sound that reverberates through Adam’s body and sends Adam into tremors. He rips his mouth away, sobs harshly and buries his head in Kris’ throat. He kisses the skin where Kris’ cheek meets his ear and whimpers helplessly; Kris shudders against him and links his arms around Adam’s waist, resting his head on Adam’s shoulder. “Kris,” Adam gasps, tears in his eyes, and Kris responds, “Adam.”

Perfect, Adam thinks. This is perfect.

-

Adam spends the next several hours wrapped around Kris, the both of them relaying the last several weeks in hushed, happy voices.

“The first time you smiled at me,” Adam admits, “I knew I was a goner.”

“For me,” Kris says with a chuckle, after brushing his lips against Adam’s, “it was that first time we had lunch together. I just loved the way you handled Tucker. It was sexy.”

Adam laughs brightly, heart full of joy and relief and love. “Shit. All this time we could have been making out instead of working on our project.”

Kris laughs and kisses Adam breathlessly. “Would’ve failed for sure,” he rumbles against Adam’s jaw. Adam shivers and rests his hand on Kris’ hip.

Because he can.

-

“So, is it hard to fit… this with your faith, or…?” Adam asks curiously.

Kris absently strokes the bare expanse of skin between the waist of Adam’s jeans and the hem of his shirts as he answers, which is just… so good. “Not really. The way I see it… God put you in my life for a reason, and I know that this is it,” Kris says with resolve, tightening his grip on Adam’s waist. “I know this is right.”

Adam presses a kiss to Kris’ collarbone. “Yeah, me too.”

-

“In retrospect, I guess I always kind of knew,” Adam says thoughtfully. “I always felt different, but I didn’t really know why until I got older. And then I just kept it to myself, for a long time.”

Kris strokes a hand through Adam’s hair. “I knew when I was in kindergarten,” Kris says, completely straight-faced, “I wanted to kiss Jack, not Jill.”

Adam bursts out laughing and presses his forehead into Kris’ temple. He covers Kris with his body, seals his mouth over Kris’ grin and strokes his tongue along the roof of Kris’ mouth. Kris groans and clutches Adam’s shoulders, pulling him closer, sucking teasingly on Adam’s tongue. Adam pulls away after a few heated moments and pants against Kris’ throat, the only words in his head a litany of thank you, thank you, thank you.

---

The next morning, Adam doesn’t immediately remember why he’s so happy, but when he opens his eyes and sees Kris conked out on his shoulder, it comes back to him full-force. Adam leans down to plant a gentle kiss on the corner of Kris’ mouth, and Kris exhales adorably, curling tighter around Adam.

Adam feels completely out of his element. He doesn’t want anything to change; he just wants to lie here with Kris, for years – skip this afternoon’s game, and graduation, and the impending feeling of sadness that’s encroaching upon Adam as he cradles Kris’ sleeping form to his own.

What’s going to happen to them? It pains Adam that he doesn’t know. He can’t help but marvel at and lament his ability to be immensely happy, sad, and terrified at the same time.

He doesn’t want to give Kris up yet – maybe ever.

Kris finally opens his eyes about an hour later, the duration of which Adam has spent obsessing over The Future, and he blinks up at Adam for several moments before smiling sheepishly and squeezing Adam.

“Hi,” he croaks. They laugh breathlessly at that and spend quite some time exchanging pleasant, lazy kisses in the rays of sun pouring in through Kris’ open curtains.

---

The further along in the year they get, the more people come out to their games. There’s always a generous crowd in the stands, but tonight they’re bursting at the seams. Adam jogs on to the football field with his teammates to a tumultuous round of applause and cheering from the crowd. Adam knows his dad has come to this game, which he appreciates quite a lot.

In general, there seem to be a lot more people at this game, people who are normally completely uninterested in football, that have come out to see how the team will play now that some of its members don’t get along so well. Plus, there are only two more games until the season ends, and so it feels like the whole school is in attendance. Adam is actually nervous, which he hasn’t been before a game in a tangible way since middle school.

As a student sings the national anthem, Adam looks at Hawkins, whose nerves are palpable, and says, “Hey, you’re gonna be great out there.”

Hawkins looks over in surprise, and then he nods his thanks and rolls his shoulders back, bumping Adam’s shoulder with his. Adam bumps him back. Then he jogs on the spot, working up some adrenaline, and his eyes land on the crowd in the stands. He searches for his family and finds them after a quick sweep of the crowd, and then his eyes continue along the stands.

Adam stumbles sideways into Jay when he sees his brand new boyfriend, Kris Allen, standing in the front row and holding up a sign that reads: Sing Your Melody! Adam’s heart flutters, and he stares up at the stands in amazement. Kris is wearing a lopsided grin, and Adam grins back, brimming with happiness and excitement and – yep, adrenaline.

Adam’s pretty sure, once they’ve trounced the Sabre-Toothed Tigers 35-10, that he has never played a better game in all his years of football. And he can’t remember the last time he had this much fun during a game.

He suspects Kris may have had something to do with that.

---

Judgment day!

Adam grabs Kris around the shoulders and hauls him into a hug when he reaches Kris’ locker. “Hey,” he mutters, resisting the urge to kiss the living daylights out of Kris, right there in the middle of the hallway.

Kris grins up at him and says, “Hey! You ready to presentate?”

Adam giggles. “Presentate?”

Kris flushes, beaming. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah. And yeah, let’s blow ‘em away!”

Kris grabs his books from his locker and they set off to science class, their shoulders touching as they walk down the hallway together. They file into class and sit down with Dani, all smiles and contagious joy. Dani’s known about their new status together since Saturday night, but she still gives them toothy grins whenever she sees them together.

Mrs. Jackson calls up the first two students, who give a good presentation on Lupus, and then it’s Adam and Kris’ turn to present. They share a smile and take their places at the front of the classroom.

They don’t even need the cue cards they have prepared, just in case. They’re ready.

Adam fixes his gaze on his classmates, who are all wearing their usual expressions of vague interest or sheer boredom. Mrs. Jackson gives them both an encouraging smile, and Adam clears his throat. “When AIDS – Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome – was first recognized by the Center for Disease Control in the U.S. in 1982, there was very little known about it. Initially, the CDC did not have an official name for the disease, and they referred to it by the diseases that were associated with it. On June 5th, 1981, five gay men in Los Angeles were diagnosed with pneumocystis carinii pneumonia. Once more research was done, the CDC introduced AIDS as the official name and diagnosis. It has been determined that AIDS first originated in Africa, spreading to Haiti, and eventually to the United States in the late 1960s.”

Adam looks over at Kris and nods, and Kris continues where Adam left off, “There are many stigmas associated with AIDS, and many misconceptions that perpetuate discrimination and violence against people diagnosed with the disease, or people who are HIV-positive. It’s important to note that AIDS is not a disease only contracted by gay men or drugs users. AIDS can be spread through a number of ways, and that is why more thorough sex education needs to be implemented in schools across the country in order to combat those misconceptions and to encourage safe sex between couples regardless of sexual orientation.”

“Education is absolutely paramount to battling the spread of this disease,” Adam states.
“It is estimated that roughly 33.4 million people are living with AIDS throughout the world, with an estimated 2 million deaths in 2008 alone. The situation is critical, and the only true solution is education; education about what AIDS is, how it can be contracted, how to prevent it, and what can be done for those who are living with AIDS. Thankfully, there are organizations that are devoted to spreading awareness about this issue throughout the world. And in the spirit of educating ourselves about this pandemic, Kris is going to tell you what exactly AIDS does to the human body.”

Adam gives Kris a small, relieved smile. He can tell by the smile on Mrs. Jackson’s face that he and Kris are doing well. It feels good to have weeks of work appreciated. As Kris continues speaking, Adam tries to sort out his next part of the presentation in his head, but his mind is elsewhere. He cannot take his eyes off of Kris, who doesn’t seem nervous or shy at all. He looks completely confident in his ability to relay the information he and Adam have spent the better part of the last five weeks researching, and Adam feels a sharp pang of love for Kris that nearly bowls him over.

Adam thinks back on that afternoon when Mrs. Jackson called out their names, linking Adam and Kris together. Adam kind of wants to sprint across the classroom and throw his arms around his teacher, who has – perhaps inadvertently – given Adam more than he even knew he needed.

Adam can’t bring himself to worry about the future, of what will come. He can’t bring himself to fret, at the moment, over what he’ll say in that inevitable conversation he and Kris need to have about their future together. He can’t bring himself to dread the coming end of high school; he can only revel in what he has with Kris right now.

And right now they have a project to ace.

---

Adam’s sitting at his desk doing homework on his computer (with Goldfrapp playing on his sound system) when someone knocks softly on the bedroom door.

“Yeah?” he calls.

There’s a moment of quiet, and then his door opens and Adam turns to find Kris standing in the doorway. Kris steps inside the room, shuts the door and leans against it. He looks absolutely wrecked; Adam can’t even begin to categorize the range of emotion on Kris’ face. He gets up and crosses the room to take Kris in his arms, kissing him gently. “What’s wrong?”

Kris bites his lip and pulls away to retrieve a sheaf of folded papers from his back pocket, handing them to Adam wordlessly. Adam already knows what it is, but he still plucks it from Kris’ fingers with his own numb ones. He unfolds Kris’ acceptance letter to State Tech with the air of a man handling a bomb that could go off at any moment, which, incidentally, is exactly how this moment feels to Adam.

His heart still sinks when he sees the ‘Congratulations!’ at the top of the page; he still feels like ripping the paper up and throwing it somewhere it will never be found again. When he raises his eyes to meet Kris’ gaze, Kris is still biting down on his bottom lip, but now there are tears in his eyes and his whole body is shaking.

Adam opens his mouth to say – something, anything, and a small whimper escapes. Without further ado, Adam tugs Kris back into his arms and presses his mouth to the tear tracks on Kris’ face. Kris makes this horrible broken sound in reply, and then he’s kissing Adam desperately, with so much passion that it strikes a deep, heart-breaking chord inside of Adam.

Kris pushes Adam toward the bed and down on to the mattress, climbing on top of Adam and straddling his waist. He kisses Adam like he’s searching for something, bites Adam’s lips and clenches his hands around Adam’s arms and shoulders like Adam could leave at any moment.

Adam kisses back with a hunger he didn’t know he was capable of feeling. He grasps Kris’ straining shoulders and cranes his neck to kiss Kris more deeply, more roughly, just more.

Kris wrenches his mouth away from Adam’s with an enormous gasp and peels off his black t-shirt. Adam stares up at Kris for several moments, and then he strokes his hands up Kris’ chest, catching Kris’ intent gaze. “God, Kris,” he chokes out, “You – you’re – you’re gorgeous.”

Kris’ head is tipped back, his mouth slightly open, and he’s panting, rolling his hips down into Adam’s. “Off,” Kris grunts, pulling on Adam’s shirt. Adam holds his arms up for Kris to yank it off, which Kris tosses deftly aside before leaning down to tongue Adam’s nipples. The sensation is utterly maddening and unbearably hot; Adam can only groan in ecstasy and angle his hips up for more friction with Kris’ own.

Kris begins pressing wet kisses along Adam’s chest and down his stomach. Adam tangles his fingers in Kris’ hair and lets out a long moan. It – all of it – is exquisite overload for Adam’s brain, and double that for his dick, which is straining in his boxer briefs.

Kris yanks those right off, throwing them away as well, and then he’s staring down at Adam’s dick with a reverence that shakes Adam to his core. Boldly, Kris closes a strong, firm hand around Adam, who bucks and gasps, “Oh yeah, Kris, yeah, that’s-”

Kris’ eyes flick up to meet Adam’s. “You’re perfect, Adam,” he whispers. And then he’s wrapping his lips around Adam’s dick and stroking his warm tongue along the underside.

Adam’s hands scrabble for purchase in his bed sheets. He places a clumsy hand on Kris’ bowed head and moans, “oh, oh, oh,” when Kris sucks hard and groans around Adam. “Shit,” Adam gasps breathlessly, “Kris, I can’t, I’m gonna --”

Kris pulls off and strokes Adam through a powerful, gut-wrenching orgasm. Adam whimpers, shuddering through the aftershocks, and grips Kris’ wrist in his hand.

When he’s come back down somewhat, he flips them over and returns the favour. It’s sloppy and enthusiastic, and Kris comes hard in Adam’s mouth, crying out a sharp, “Adam!”

Kris pulls Adam up along the bed to kiss him thoroughly, and in just a few shorts minutes they’re both crying quietly in each other’s arms. What are we going to do? is the unspoken but very present question hanging between them.

---

Adam wakes up the next morning, Kris, staring up at the ceiling and clearly in deep thought, nestled in his arms. Adam leans over and kisses the bridge of Kris’ nose. Kris smiles sadly at Adam, and then he says, “I barely slept at all.” Adam tightens his hold around Kris. “I thought about this all night: I don’t want us to break up when school ends.”

“Me neither,” Adam says quietly.

“I love you,” Kris mutters. “I know things are moving fast. I know it’s crazy. We bareloy know each other. I know I shouldn’t be feeling like this about you already, but I can’t help it.”

Tears press at Adam’s eyelids, and he lets them fall. “I love you too,” Adam whispers.

They kiss warmly for several minutes, and then they pull away, sighing deeply, almost in unison. “I thought about it all night,” Kris repeats, “and I want us to make this work.” Adam nods for Kris to continue. “You’re going to L.A., and I’m going to State, but that doesn’t mean we have to break up. We could – I could drive to you once a month,” Kris offers.

“And I could drive to you once a month,” Adam inputs immediately. “If we can see each other twice a month? It won’t be so bad!”

“Yeah, and when I’m done with school I can come out to L.A.,” Kris says, animated, “and we can live together.”

“I’d love that,” Adam breathes.

“We just have to put the time and effort in to make it work,” Kris concludes.

“We can do it,” Adam agrees fervently. “Hell, we haven’t gone through all of this just to have things end right when they’re getting so good.”

Kris nods. “Exactly. It might not be ideal, but it’s something.”

“It’s something,” Adam echoes, hope building in his chest.

Adam basks in his own relief and newly acquired excitement for their future together. He grins over at Kris, and in return Kris smiles that same lovely smile that hooked Adam in the first place. Adam resolves to write a song about that smile someday.

He can already hear it in his head.



***



If your heart wears thin I will hold you up
And I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you...



***




Thanks:

-To fobobsessed54, for the above and beyond beta job.
-To sparkysparky for creating such fantastic, amazing art to go with this.
-To everyone at kradambigbang, both the organizers and contributors.
-To my wonderful flist for the cheerleading and reassurance.


Exhale.

Comments

[penrith1.livejournal.com]

You know when you have one of those days when you just feel down for no reason. Well I was having one until I read this. This was beautifully written. It was refreshing to see Adam as a jock, he would make a beautiful quarterback. I loved how you developed the story and characters and for once although Adam and Kris had a lot to work through it was more about exploring their feelings than having to fight an enemy. You really had a good feel for the emotional depth of your characters. So Thank you for posting such a satisfying uplifting story.

[rockinhamburger.livejournal.com]

THIS COMMENT!? IT FEELS LIKE PURE LOVE, AND EVERY WORD OF IT TOUCHED ME. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I can't even - you are SO KIND to say all those things. Thank you. Seriously, thank youuuu.