I am a loser...

[rockinhamburger]

So, I'm pretty sure I'm about to let this opportunity go by. Got a message through Facebook from a friend from that I knew at the college I went to about two years ago. He lives in town, near Crescent (dance club and bar-after-bar hotspot in Montreal), and earlier this afternoon he invited me to come out for a sushi dinner and drinks with him and some of his friends. Without thinking about it, I told him I'd go to the drinks part since my possible allergies to seafood didn't seem like a good thing to test in those particular circumstances. He asked for my phone number, which I gave him.

He called me about fifteen minutes ago. I was napping so I only noticed I was getting the call right as it went from Incoming to Missed Call. He left me a message, "Hey Nikki, it's Darce. We're at my apartment now and we'll be heading out to Crescent soon, call me back."

Oh. Did I mention I used to have the most relentlessly painful school-girl crush on him? He was in a couple of my classes, and he was really nice to me, the origin of which was a mystery to me since I was a complete dork then, and still am now.

I can't believe he actually called... Hey, I am certain this is simply a friendly invite, but I don't like the possibility that this could stir up long dead emotions and feelings in me. Also, I'm not a great at socializing, and the concept of making conversation with him and some of his friends is quite terrifying.

I'm such a moron. The question is, do I call him back tonight and say I won't make it? Or do I call him back tomorrow with a vague excuse (it is very rainy outside, and I fell painfully on the ice three times when I was out earlier) and scramble to apologize and make some other plans? If you have suggestions, I'd love 'em.

I do not want to like this guy, whether the feelings are requited or not! (Which I know for a fact they are not, and you know what? Simply mentioning these potential absent feelings on his or my part, I've given him and the situation too much thought. Fuck, I don't want these feelings!)




PS I am so unbelievably sore from falling on the ice. Once was when I landed on my right ass-cheek. I think that's what my big ass is really for, to soften the landing. Another time was when I landed on my right knee, which believe it or not, really fucking hurt. And finally, there was when I basically did the splits on the ice. (That fall-description reminds me: anyone else seen Benjamin Button? Saw it last night. My thoughts? Nice special effects!) For some reason, my arms hurt too....

Comments

[docsaico.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry bout all that! I think I would...okay, do one of these two things:

[1] If you think that you can hang out with him and be able to just be friends, then I'd go and try to have fun.

[2] If you're too afraid that your feelings for him would come up again and be too strong, just do the excuse thing. Ya know, you can't help your feelings, there's nothing wrong with that.

Good luck!

[rockinhamburger.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the suggestions! I think I'll call him later today and tell him a fell asleep and could we do something another time. And then, if we do make other plans I can decide then if I want to go there.

I would love to be friends with him, but I'm afraid that won't happen. I have this seemingly incurable thing for tall, dark-haired boys, and he certainly fills that description. Silly, though, since I'm so damn short...

AHH I'm thinking about it. NO I can't think about it!

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

Ouch, sorry to hear about the ice fall.

If you think you can handle it, I would go for trying to hang out and see if you can do casual. If not, just say, sorry, doesn't work for me, but I appreciate the offer. Either way, good luck ♥

[rockinhamburger.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm making plans for later this week. Hopefully it'll be all good. I just don't want any kind of relationship that's anything other than good friends. I love being single, I don't want to be anything else.